Not-So-Mini Rants

A few quick reviews for some games I took cracks at lately:

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard

Mario. Link. Master Chief. Solid Snake. Matt....Hazard?

In the world of the game, Hazard is an old classic video game character, who's finally graduated to the next-gen, after having lived the life of a video game icon, has slipped and fallen the way of Sonic, and has been disgraced into making cart-racing games, and endless sequels. Now he's here to make his comeback into the big leagues, only he doesn't know that the new game he's in is actually being corrupted with in the real world, by an old jealous developer who has a long time grudge against Hazard, since the only games he couldn't beat growing up as a kid, were the Hazard series. So he chooses to corrupt the new game and throw in all of Hazard's old enemies, while also throwing in what would be Hazard's younger, more current replacement.

The overall idea of the game is to poke fun at the industry. For instance the game starts with a tutorial sequence, all the while, Hazard is joking "of course, the obligatory training sequence" and "I gotta admit, this cover to cover system is pretty damn cool". And as the game goes on, he finds more things to poke fun at, the funniest moment probably being an encounter with a long haired, floating RPG boss, with visual HP counter and all. When Hazard questioned why the enemy spoke in ellipses, I laughed out loud and applauded.

Only problem is that, while the game is very funny and precise at making fun of the game industry, the game itself falls victim to a lot of the ideas it's trying to skewer. The controls are clunky. The visuals are generic and old. The sound and music is bland and repetitive. But none of it to the point where it's unplayable. Also, if you're looking for achievements, there are plenty of easy ones here for you. But again, lots of humor to be found in the achievements themselves.

Overall, it's a very fun and interesting story, thats unfortunately stuck in a lousy game. Definitely worth a rent, but not worth the $50 it's being sold for now. Or just wait a few months, as it has "bargain bin" written all over it.

Score: 6/10

Guitar Hero: Metallica

I have been waiting for this game ever since I was a teenager. Growing up, Metallica was my favorite band in the world. ...And Justice for All is still my #1 best metal album ever. Ever since this game was announced, I waited and waited, verging on uncontrollable anxiety for this thing to come out. I even promised myself over the last few months that I would not buy a single game.....except for this one.


Ironically, I haven't bought it yet (birthday present anyone?), but I did rent it, and I could not have been any more pleased. As a die-hard Metallica fan, I was having a ball. It completely took me back to when I was a teenager, listening to Metallica in my bedroom, fake-rocking along with them on my imaginary stage. I was 16 again, and it was unbelievable.


As far as it just being a game goes, it's Guitar Hero. What don't you already expect from it? You know exactly what you're getting into gameplay-wise. Hit the buttons when you're supposed to. Be warned, if you're unfamiliar with these songs, there is a lot of steadily fast, palm-muted riffing. Didn't try the drums or vocals, but it's surely more of the same. I still just overall do not like the cartoony art style of Guitar Hero. It was always a major turnoff for me, and it's not helped much here at all. Rock Band absolutely wins in that department. But it's easily ignored once you get lost in the music.


As an old fan of the band, it gets a 10/10 from me, because the library really covers a good amount of ground (Dyers Eve? HOLY SHIT). The other bands on here are a sweet addition, too. It's nice to see them pushing bands like Corrosion of Conformity (though I wish it was a song off of Wiseblood). Extra points for Samhain too (though I would have preferred a Misfits song).

Peronal score: 10/10.

"In reality" score: it's an 8/10. As pretty much any rhythm based game is IMO.

Well, maybe not Rock Revolution....

Fallout 3

Jesus...what to say about Fallout 3 that hasn't already been said? I tried to play this game a couple times before, and was honestly overwhelmed with the entire thing. I could tell that this was a game that I had no time for. For those who don't know, Fallout 3 is an FPS/RPG about an alternate history U.S. where the world was ravaged by nuclear bombs, and the rest of humanity began living in underground vaults. Your character was born underground in Washington D.C., so you know nothing of an outside world. That is, until you wake up one day to find that your dad mysteriously escaped, and went to the surface. Soon, you're chasing his ghost out in the wasteland.

Now I'm officially giving it my best effort, and I'm very much enjoying the game, outside of a few problems. Walking around the wasteland, randomly coming across ravaged cities, ruins (especially of national monuments), makeshift towns, nice settlers, bounty hunters (who are always after you, specifically for some reason), all of this is fantastic stuff. There's a real sense of wonder that fills you as you come upon a hill, and as you start to cross it, in the distance, you see a new city rising from just behind the hill, and you wonder who you'll meet, and what experiences you'll come across.

For one instance, I came across the city of Andale. In it, I randomly walked into one of the ravaged houses, to find a mother, father, and their daughter sitting at the dinner table, eating quietly. As I approach them, they begin talking to me in an extra nice fashion. Offering me their food, and smiling in a way that can only be described as creepy and off-putting. As a joke, I shot them with a missile, blowing them up, losing karma, and grabbing their keys.

I went to their shed out back, and found that it was full of old human corpses, and that the dinner that I walked in on them eating, was human. In which case, I didn't feel so bad anymore. But in a wasteland, where food is scarce, and people are trading items and nourishment for bottle caps, who am I to judge?

Fallout 3 is a fascinating experience, but it doesn't come without its fair share of faults. The shooting in the game is absolutely atrocious. People try to argue this by saying, well, it's NOT a shooter. I'm sorry, but when you're shooting things, from a first person POV for 90% of the time, that's an FPS mostly. Just because you have experience points, doesn't make it JUST an RPG. So really, while the RPG element of Fallout 3 is excellent, the FPS element is a disaster. However, when you DO connect with a brain-exploding headshot, it never gets old. There are also many places in the game where the screen freezes which is just inexcusable, especially in a game that only autosaves every time you enter a building. I've gone

I'd like to say I'm halfway through the game's main story at this point, then comes the side missions. THEN comes the DLC.

As of right now, I'm giving it an 8/10. Faulty, but fascinating nonetheless.

Revisiting Liberty City: Grand Theft Auto IV - Part One

I've owned GTAIV now for about 4 months. The game has been out since, what, April of last year? And only now have I felt a legit desire to dive in the sprawling open world of it's re-vamped Liberty City. The hype surrounding it's initial release was maddening. Multiple sources calling the the game of the year, and the "best game since The Ocarina of Time" set it up with massive expectations from gamers around the globe. We could all barely wait to meet the game's protagonist Niko Bellic, and discover Liberty City through his FOB eyes.



Now, let me say, that I would consider myself a GTA fan. I absolutely loved GTA3, with it's groundbreaking open world gameplay, fun voice acting, and it's admittedly gleeful way of diving into deprivation with no morals whatsoever. You could kill/rob/cheat/and steal from anyone, at any time, and when you did it right, you won MONEY! Amazing. They really tapped into a whole new part of the collective gamer's brain.


When Rockstar followed it with GTA: Vice City, I loved it even more. At the time of it's release, I was really into the 80's, so I adored the soundtrack, and it brought back all the aspects that made GTA3 so great, but just bigger, with a few new additions.



Then, came along GTA: San Andreas, and and it was with this effort that Rockstar and I fell out of touch. I'm not sure what I expected from San Andreas, but, for everything I loved about the game, they'd throw in two more quirks at me to turn me off. The gameplay was generally the same, but the world was just too big this time. It would take forever to get somewhere, only to die during your mission, and start all over again. And there was just too much to do in the game that seemed perfunctory. Did anyone really find it fun to work out in a video game? I get the idea of immersion, but this time, they gave you so much to do, that it was overbearing, and just kind of boring overall. I never finished it.



Which brings us, finally, to Grand Theft Auto IV. To their credit, Rockstar really achieved something great here. To have built a city so deep and detailed as the revamped Liberty City is truly remarkable.


Except, well, when you think about it, it didn't really take THAT much thought. It's just New York City....literally. You have Times Square, Ellis Island, Coney Island, the 5 boroughs, Central Park, Chinatown, etc...Now, I'm not saying it didn't take incredible skill to re-create it so authentically as they did. A lot of care went into the details here, and to make it work and flow so smoothly is what makes it such a great achievement by the developers and engineers behind the game. I just wish that at the beginning, they decided to be a little more imaginative, and create an entire city on their own. The Liberty City of GTA3 was still reminiscent of NYC, but it was original enough to make you feel like you're discovering a brand new city.



The gameplay is tighter this time, with a new cover mechanic that's really a great and crucial addition. The gunplay was always weak in the series, but with IV, they've definitely made an improvement. It's not perfect yet, though. Sometimes, while you're aim is locked onto an enemy, and you want to move the cursor to another enemy who's shooting at you, you'll still lock on the first guy, even if you move the cursor away. Also, sometimes when you hit the cover button, Niko will take cover on a different wall than you thought, leaving him wide open to attack. But, while these new controls are a bit sticky, they are definitely a good step in the right direction.



Of course, us currently being in the "next-gen," the graphics are much improved from previous GTA titles. The city itself is gorgeous, and you get to see it go through all types of weather. Rockstar have really captured the feeling of a living, breathing city such as NYC, where something new is always going on around every corner. However, with a lot of the character models, it starts to look like a previous-gen game. In the cut scenes, we get solid animations, but even then, the characters still look really awkward. In an era of Metal Gear Solid 4, and Uncharted, we're getting closer to really capturing convincing facial expressions. Outside of the city itself, the graphics in GTAIV are always just "almost there". There are also occasional pop-up problems which are particularly annoying when you're driving down the road, and go to make a turn on an open road, and then there's a segue that appears right in time for you to smash into it. The sound in the game is very good. Each car and gun have a different, specific sound. The sounds of a rumbling city consistently permeate through every moment. Nothing about the sound is particularly noteworthy, but it's just very well done.



All of these issues aside, perhaps the most interesting part of GTAIV is the story. This time, Rockstar decided to give us a character who might actually have a moral dilemna when it comes to running over cops in the street and going on a killing spree. Niko Bellic, is an immigrant from some slavic nation (him being Russian is heavily implied). Niko's come to America in search of the "American Dream" that his cousin, Roman has been bragging about living out. Only, Niko finds out it's a sham, and Roman is living off pennies, in a lousy apartment, and now Niko must make his own living, chasing the dream around every corner, contemplating all the job offers he gets. Niko also brought along some serious mental baggage, that at this point in the game is still unclear. Something bad happened in the old country, and he's come for revenge.



With this story, Rockstar have finally given us a story worth following and being interested in. You're not just killing everyone to make it to the top. You're making choices. You're contemplating consequences. You're making friends, love interests, and enemies. You're really living there.



But the almost fatal flaw in this idea, is that, around this story, everything else is still the old GTA we already know. So, while you watch a cut scene where Niko goes into a deep soliloquy about a grave mistake he made, and how sincerely he regrets his past sins, once that scene is over, and you take control, you could potentially just get in a car, and run over 80 people on the way to your next mission, completely breaking the immersion of the story, and ruining the character. It's a shame because they seemed to really take their time constructing this character, giving him dimension and layers, only to have all of that pulled out from under him when you go on a mission that makes him look like a raving lunatic.



There are also issues regarding things they added to the game. Rockstar was definitely going for a more realistic GTA this time around, and so far, I'd say they achieved about half and half. For one example, yeah, it's cute and all that you have to pay tolls now when crossing bridges, but is that really enhancing anyone's enjoyment of the game? Who played Vice City and thought "you know, this is great, but what it REALLY needs are toll booths"? And once again, like San Andreas (but not as bad) the city is almost too huge. Driving from mission to mission gets to be a chore, especially if you fail the mission and have to start at the beginning, often times in another borough.

I would imagine I'm about halfway through the game's major storyline now. It's taken me a couple tries to finally begin appreciating this game, and this time, I think I'm in it to end it. Overall, I'm definitely enjoying it a lot more now than I was before, and I think people (like me) who may have been initially turned off by the more serious tone or the epic scale of Grand Theft Auto IV should perhaps try it again now that the hype is all but dead, and you can start seeing the game for what it is.